Confessions of a Very Intelligent Woman

So Tuesday morning, I decide that I’m going to quit smoking. It was sort of a snap decision however I had been thinking about it for quite some time. I mean, I’ve been working for the past 2 months on changing me, making me better…all is good, except I’m still a smoker.

And I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a smoker. I sneak around people who don’t smoke and so, I had been contemplating it. But I just wasn’t ready. And my excuse? You’ll love this…. (more…)

Let me preface this by saying, I am not a morning person. Period.

Let me also say that I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in I can’t tell you how long. (I’m not blaming anyone, it’s just a fact.)

So this morning when Matthew comes running into my room, I’m startled from a deep sleep (and a pretty nice dream too.)

“Mom! Mom! There’s Pokemon toys on eBay. The auction ends in 2 minutes and it’s only a penny! Can I get it, please? I’ll give you the money for it! Please?”

It’s 6:30 in the morning. I heard “Fire! Come quick! You must give your username and password to extinguish so that you can go back to bed for 30 more minutes.”

I shuffle into the office. He pulls the seat out for me to sit down. He points to the computer. “Hurry, Mom! There’s not much time left.” Suddenly, I feel like I am stepping into a life saving operation.

I see Pokemon toys. They look harmless. I see $.01, I see “auction ends in 2 minutes, 19 seconds” and see the place bid button. I clicked on it.

I entered my username and password. I bid $.15…you know, just in case a sniper came in behind me at the last minute. (Even half asleep that auction demon comes out in me!) We’re the high bidder. I shuffle back to the bedroom and fall in the bed, glancing briefly at my clock to see that I still have 25 minutes of sleep.

Or so I thought… (more…)

No, I didn’t, but wouldn’t that make for an interesting story? I think this one ranks right up there though. One of the things that my best friend convinced me to try was dumpster diving. She was all into it. Found a message board online where people posted their finds, the best stores to try, the tools of the trade. So I went with her one night. I had a lot of fun and we found some great stuff (like, I will never have to buy greeting cards for any occasion ever again, and I don’t think I’ll have to purchase CDRs anytime soon either.)

On August 18, 1999, she called me up and said that she needed my help. Now, for someone who is as scatter brained as me you might be wondering why I can remember the exact date. Now with most of these stories, I couldn’t tell you the year, let alone the day, but this was a Wednesday and I remember it because it was my due date with Samara.

So, I’m nine months pregnant and Sondra calls me up and says, “There’s a desk at Office Max and I need some help getting it out.” Normal people would’ve replied, “Are you off your rocker?” but I simply said, (more…)