Confessions of a Very Intelligent Woman

No, I didn’t, but wouldn’t that make for an interesting story? I think this one ranks right up there though. One of the things that my best friend convinced me to try was dumpster diving. She was all into it. Found a message board online where people posted their finds, the best stores to try, the tools of the trade. So I went with her one night. I had a lot of fun and we found some great stuff (like, I will never have to buy greeting cards for any occasion ever again, and I don’t think I’ll have to purchase CDRs anytime soon either.)

On August 18, 1999, she called me up and said that she needed my help. Now, for someone who is as scatter brained as me you might be wondering why I can remember the exact date. Now with most of these stories, I couldn’t tell you the year, let alone the day, but this was a Wednesday and I remember it because it was my due date with Samara.

So, I’m nine months pregnant and Sondra calls me up and says, “There’s a desk at Office Max and I need some help getting it out.” Normal people would’ve replied, “Are you off your rocker?” but I simply said, “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

She gets there to pick me up and I’m ready. She asks me how I’m doing since it’s my due date and all and I simply tell her that Matthew was nine days late so what makes her think this one is going to be any different.

We get to Office Max and the way the desk was in the dumpster, we need to get leverage from the back. So, because I can’t pull it out (because I’m pregnant) I say that I’ll climb up in the dumpster and see if I can push it toward the front.

So I climb on up. I swing one leg over and I’m straddling the top of the dumpster. I could almost get a handle on it but not quite. I kept trying but I just couldn’t get it. I remember Sondra telling me to be careful because she didn’t want to be on the news because I went into labor in a dumpster, but I was bound and determined to help her get that desk.

We finally gave up and she said, “Come on down, I’ll call Michael and tell him to help me.” So, I went to get out the way that I got in and for some reason, I couldn’t swing my leg out of the dumpster. She kept saying “Come on, Heather. I’ll just call Michael.” She thought I was still trying to get that stupid desk. I finally said, “I’m stuck.”

“What do you mean, you’re stuck?” she asked. I felt like saying “What part of “I’m stuck” didn’t you comprehend” but I didn’t. She is my best friend and it wasn’t the time to panick.

Somehow, I got out. But there was a lot of laughing going on. I was pretty big with Samara so it had to have looked funny from her end, me trying to get out.

They went back and got that desk. It’s still in their office. We couldn’t really figure out why they threw the desk away btu they did and she got it. It was by far one of her biggest finds and one of our most favorite memories.