Grating Cheese and my Thumb
Many felt that this story should have been included a month or so ago, however, I didn’t see the humor value in it at the time. To be honest, I’m still not seeing the humor value, but others are, so I’ll share.
When I meet new people (men in general) I try to be very honest about my shortfalls. I felt this only fair as I *am* a little off the beaten path. Included in these shortfalls were two of the most important: (a) I’m an accident waiting to happen and (b) I’m a disaster in the kitchen. Many fail to believe me.
Last night, I was grating mozzarella cheese. Yes, I realize that I can buy it already grated, and that was a suggestion while at the store, but I could save 20 cents if I grate it myself. I don’t know if my mind was elsewhere, or if I’m just retarded (perhaps it was a combination of both) but just as I was finishing up I felt this excruciating pain in my thumb. I looked down and there was blood.
“Damn it!” I screamed. No one asked what was wrong. This bothered me slightly, but I was in the kitchen and they are used to a stream of explicatives coming from that general direction when I’m in there. I walked out to the office with a paper towel wrapped around my thumb and that’s when my friend said something to me…”Did you cut yourself?”
“No,” I replied and then continued, “I grated myself.”
“Again?” he asked. I nodded.
“No more. This is the second time that you’ve done that. The last one just healed. I’ll grate the cheese from now on.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get out of food preparation! (I’m just kidding — I wasn’t trying to get out of it.)
But at least now people know that I am telling the truth.
Who, other than Heather Jacobson, grates their own thumb….twice?