Travel Don’ts…
Since 9-11, flying sucks. It just does. Well, flying sucked before 9-11 but now there are so many other obstacles that I stress majorly over it. The security, the random selection to make sure that you’re not a terrorist, not being able to carry lighters…seriously…
I don’t fly often…maybe three to four times a year and I’m most familiar with the Atlanta, Cincinnati, and St. Louis airports in addition to Roanoke Regional, my home airport.
In Cincinnati you have to pay for wireless internet which sucks when you’re on a 4 hour layover, but they have some of the best stores.
Atlanta is just HUGE and I always have to make it from terminal A to terminal D in 5 minutes which is impossible (and there’s another story there altogether!)
St. Louis is okay, but you can’t move between terminals so if you’re waiting with a friend, you have to say goodbye in the main area and there are two sections to it which always confuses me.
But, in the St. Louis airport, you always have to take your shoes off. I don’t have to do this everywhere, but always in St. Louis. And because I’ve flown a few times I knew the drill.
Let me back up to the morning of my flight. I was in the hotel and my cell phone rings. My boss is downstairs waiting for me and I’m not quite packed yet. I tell him I’ll be right down and quickly survey the room to see what I might have left behind.
Grab the smokes and throw them in my purse. Pick up my toothbrush and stick that down in my bag and I’m ready to walk out the door. As I go to zip up my laptop case I spot out of the corner of my eye something red.
It’s my underwear…yeah, don’t need to leave them in Columbia.
Because my suitcase is already packed up, zipped up, and locked, I shove them down in my laptop case and walk out the door. Stinky is waiting and I need to get going.
Fast forward to that afternoon — I’m at the airport and I get to the security checkpoint.
Shoes off and in the bin.
Coat off and in the bin.
It’s jam packed. There are so many people there and I just want to get through this line (because I have my lighter hidden in my wallet and I’m deathly afraid that this is the time that I’ll get “caught” with it)…
And of course we have to take our laptops out of the bags and put them in a bin too…and I don’t have enough hands. I’m trying to keep track of my license, my ticket, my two bags, and I reach in and grab my laptop.
As I’m doing this, I see something come flying out of my bag and land behind the security guard…checker…whatever you call the checkpoint people…yeah…that something?
MY UNDERWEAR!
Did I mention that it was packed with people? Um, yeah…my face turned as red as those panties…
They weren’t just any panties either…they were the red thongs with black polka dots…the most uncomfortable pair of underwear I own and the only reason that I had them with me is because I didn’t have time to do laundry before I left and I had slim pickings to chose from.
The security guard picked them up and handed them back to me. I quickly shoved them back in my bag hoping that no one noticed. But I know they did. And I’m sure they couldn’t wait to get to their final destination to tell their loved ones about the flying thongs….