The History
Many people that know me know that I will utter the phrase “I am a very intelligent woman” over and over again. It’s my standard response to every look that I get. You know those looks. The “you are so retarded” looks. The fact of the matter is, I ask dumb questions. They aren’t dumb to me; I really want to know the answer. But apparently there are these “unanswerable” questions out there. Questions such as “How much does a car cost?”, “How much would it cost to build a house?”, and “How many pieces of firewood do we need to bring camping with us?” I didn’t know they were unanswerable, but every time I ask such a question, I get that look.
I digress and I’m sure I’ll do that a lot over the course of the time that you’re in my world, but you’ll get used to it. At least most of the people in my life have.
Here’s how it all started. I have a confidence issue. (That’s why I make fun of myself if you read all the psychiatric crap out there – but that’s another topic for another day.) When I first started working with my business coach, he brought this to my attention. He asked, “Heather, why do you always put yourself down?” My reply (because I’m never wrong, you know) was “I don’t do that.”
He tasked me with carrying a little notebook around (which is funny because I can’t keep track of my keys or my lighter, yet, I’m supposed to carry this notebook around) and to just make a little tick mark every time I put myself down or say something negative about me.
I’m notorious for calling myself stupid and after one day (that’s when I lost the notebook) I realized that I put myself down more than I thought I did. So after our next call he told me that I needed to combat everything negative I said with something positive. What he meant was that if I called myself fat, I should immediately say that I am not fat; if I called myself ugly I should say that I’m not ugly. What he didn’t realize is that I’m not very quick on my feet with the comebacks and because my favorite phrase is “You’re so stupid, Heather” my response for everything was “You’re a very intelligent woman.”
So picture this:
Heather: You’re so stupid, Heather
Heather: No you’re not. You’re a very intelligent woman.
Heather: You’re an idiot, Heather.
Heather: No you’re not. You’re a very intelligent woman.
Heather: You have no sense of style, Heather.
Heather: No you’re not. You’re a very intelligent woman.
Yes, I talk to myself. Always have. I would play out entire conversations in my head and play all the parts. I was one of those kids that would drive the riding lawn mower and pretend that it was my car and I was picking up all my friends to go to the mall. Sad, I know.
Anywho. The family started hearing me say this phrase a lot. If I got the “you’re so retarded look” I simply touted back, “I’m a very intelligent woman.” Most of the time they rolled their eyes but I didn’t care.
And then one day, something incredibly stupid came out of my mouth. Something so dumb that I can’t even remember what it was and I got the look from all of them – my boyfriend, his son, and my kids. Just about the time I was ready to open my mouth, in unison I hear, “We know! You’re a very intelligent woman.” It was one of the few times in my life that I was speechless.
Eventually, I bought the domain name veryintelligentwoman.com. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but I own it for at least the next four years. For the longest time I was trying to figure out what to do with it. I wanted to do something inspiring, something motivational, something that would help other women with their confidence issues. But I scrapped all that and decided to do something fun with it. So if this doesn’t turn into a book, it will be a blog because you can never have too many blogs and I love putting them up.
Now I tell people that I’m a very intelligent woman with a domain name to prove it. Not that I think that a domain name has anything to do with the price of rice in China, but its fun to say and everyone always laughs.
So there you have it. That is where this whole “very intelligent woman” concept came from. I AM a very intelligent woman. (When you keep telling yourself something over and over again, you tend to start to believe it and in my heart of hearts, I know that I am. But there are those times…and I’m not the only one that questions it.)